Friday, February 5, 2010

Man speak.

The other day my girlfriend, Rachel, and I were sitting at the coffee shop discussing all of the things that women discuss when there are no men around. I think that men must wonder what kind of strange and glorious secrets we of the fairer sex verbalize when they are not present. Well, I will not give away all of the mystery but I will tell you this, we discuss men. In my experience, when women are together talking, men always come into the conversation in some shape or form.

On this particular day we were tossing around the very curious question, which I am sure has plagued all women through the ages, of what language do men speak? It definitely in no way shape or form, resembles anything that women speak. Women can understand other women with a simple phrase, just a word, or sometimes even just a look. We know exactly what the other is thinking and where they are going with it... men on the other hand, we do not understand you! Oh, and I know that men do not understand women. But, what is it that men speak? We came to the conclusion that there needs to be a label or name for the way that they interract with others...

The conversation went a little bit like this,
Amber "They definitely do not speak the same language as we do."
Rachel "Definitely not, it is something completely different."
Amber "There should be a name for it, some sort of label."
Rachel "Caveman talk."
Amber *laughing*
Rachel "Testosterone"
Amber "Meat!!"
Ok, I do realize that the way I happened onto this word may not make sense to any normal person with a mind that functions outside of the gutter most of the time. Men are equated with eating meat (at least in my mind), men grill the meat, men are sometimes referred to as meat-heads, a man could be thought of as a nice piece of meat...not in my mind of course, and then my mind went downhill from there to darker, lower places where most people do not dwell...
Rachel *laughing heartily*
Amber "Testosterogna! Of course spelled like bologna because of the meat thing."...

And thus, the word was born. Now the complicated thought would be to put a name on the ever so complicated and mysterious language that women all over the world speak.


  1. Fortunately, you need not worry about coming up with the name for the language of women. By seizing the opportunity to christen the masculine argot so eloquently you have denied yourselves the right to name your own laughable lingo; that domain now belongs to men... and given the fact that we really don't give a damn what your language is called... well, I guess it'll have to live on in all usual inanity, utterly anonymous.

  2. After reading my post over again I want to clarify something...
    I did not name it testosterogna because I think that the things men have to say are bologna. I have great love and respect for men, I just don't understand them in the same way they do not understand me. Do not take this as me knocking men...

  3. Oh yeah... now you backpedal! ',:^D Do you think I'd miss an opportunity to launch quips at you? Whatever you may or may not have meant, I'm gonna play my hand for all that it's worth! Woohoo!!! (Interpret that!)