Now don't get me wrong, I can voice my opinions as well as the next person... obviously from my angry previous venting.
If you are one of those people who think that I have it all together and that I must be a very confident self assured independent woman (hear me roar!)... then I have played my hand perfectly! That is just what I want you to believe!
The reality is, I am hopelessly flawed and I, more than anyone else, know this to be true. One of the many problems I have with myself is (now don't get on my case about self confidence being a turn on and what makes a woman more attractive, blah blah...everybody says that but who is really that self confident?) I feel a great need to be liked by anyone and everyone that I come into contact with. If a person does not like me... my world is crushed! How can people not like me, I am good enough... I am smart enough... and gosh darnit, well you get the picture.
The Man always tells me that I shouldn't care what people think. He informs me that not everybody is going to like me... it's just people. I don't listen to him, I put my fingers in my ears and close my eyes (otherwise I would read his lips) and sing the "La, la, la...la, la, la... I can't hear youoooo..." song. There must be people out there who are loved by all, and I think I could be one of them! Why not? What's so wrong with wanting people to like you and agree with everything you say? I don't think there is anything wrong with that as long as it is my opinions they are agreeing with...
The Man thinks life would be easier without friends. He says that friends take time and effort and he doesn't have time. He says I shouldn't care what people think of me, he doesn't. He honestly doesn't let peoples opinions of him affect him. I don't know how to do that! I don't want to do that! Just because it's easier doesn't mean it's better! Isn't that part of the fun of life? Falling down along the way and having people there to help you back up. If you didn't have friends who would you laugh until you almost wet yourself with? Calm down, I said "almost". Who would be there to tell you that you are being ridiculous (other than your mother of course) when you get angry about something that someone has done or said?
If you would so choose to post a negative comment about something I write, that is fine, just realize that it will hit me hard, it will make me want to quit writing because I can't imagine that someone doesn't like me! I won't quit, I shall persevere, I'm not going to let it get me down even though I may want to crawl back into bed, under the covers and feel sorry for myself... but then I will eventually pull myself back out and maybe even sing a song like, "Ain't nothing gonna break my stride..." or "We are the champions my friend...". On a side note, how are those for earworms? ;)
Maybe The Man is right (yes, I said it) and it would be easier, maybe it would make for a lot less heartache, tears and worry. Whatever the consequences, I choose not to take that path, I am going to take the hard way and experience it all along the way!
p.s. I am trying something new with the blog, everyday I have ridiculous thoughts pop into my head that I think would be great for a blog idea... suddenly something else pops into my head and out pops the idea, so I am going to write my idea on my hand, or whatever else I have handy and take a picture of it and post it on here so you can see the way my mind processes and gets to certain points. It may not always be pretty but it should be interesting, thanks for reading!