Wednesday, December 29, 2010
This Christmas season I decided that I needed to stop spending $4 a cup on fancy peppermint mocha's, my true loves, and get an actual grown up coffee maker. I did it. I bought some fancy creamers, because I am not tough enough yet to drink black coffee, and I jumped in head first. Not bad, not bad at all.
The amount of energy I have gained is awe inspiring, the coming down is another thing. I can get alot more done during the day...if I want to. I wouldn't want to set everybody's expectations too high so I pace myself.
Now that I am all grown up and behave like an adult another problem presents itself, there are consequences to every action you know, I am getting addicted to my coffee. I can't function without it in the morning and in the evenings I feel as if I am coming down from my caffeine high...something I always wanted to avoid was addiction to anything.
My new best friend Coosi (it's given name is Cuisinart) tells me it's alright to be addicted to coffee. Everyone is doing it, it's normal, it's expected. It's legal. It shouldn't be!! Now that I am invested and my parents gave us some special organic, fair-trade coffee beans for Christmas...I think there is no looking back. I'm going headlong and ignoring the symptoms of my addiction. I am listening to the whisperings of "Coosi" telling me to not pay attention to anything negative, it's all good when I have my coffee.
This growing up thing is not as exciting as I imagined it would be but, I'm trying it on for size. If it's not a good fit I can always back out...right???
Monday, May 10, 2010
Thursday, April 8, 2010
This robot journal is a pocket size. My brother liked his full-size journal so much that he requested a smaller one. I hope that he decided he needed a smaller one so that he can take it with him everywhere he goes and bring it out for the whole world to see...
I had two "K" journals to make in the same month so I tried to make them as different as possible.
Friday, February 5, 2010
On this particular day we were tossing around the very curious question, which I am sure has plagued all women through the ages, of what language do men speak? It definitely in no way shape or form, resembles anything that women speak. Women can understand other women with a simple phrase, just a word, or sometimes even just a look. We know exactly what the other is thinking and where they are going with it... men on the other hand, we do not understand you! Oh, and I know that men do not understand women. But, what is it that men speak? We came to the conclusion that there needs to be a label or name for the way that they interract with others...
The conversation went a little bit like this,
Amber "They definitely do not speak the same language as we do."
Rachel "Definitely not, it is something completely different."
Amber "There should be a name for it, some sort of label."
Rachel "Caveman talk."
Ok, I do realize that the way I happened onto this word may not make sense to any normal person with a mind that functions outside of the gutter most of the time. Men are equated with eating meat (at least in my mind), men grill the meat, men are sometimes referred to as meat-heads, a man could be thought of as a nice piece of meat...not in my mind of course, and then my mind went downhill from there to darker, lower places where most people do not dwell...
Rachel *laughing heartily*
Amber "Testosterogna! Of course spelled like bologna because of the meat thing."...
And thus, the word was born. Now the complicated thought would be to put a name on the ever so complicated and mysterious language that women all over the world speak.
Monday, January 25, 2010
If you are one of those people who think that I have it all together and that I must be a very confident self assured independent woman (hear me roar!)... then I have played my hand perfectly! That is just what I want you to believe!
The reality is, I am hopelessly flawed and I, more than anyone else, know this to be true. One of the many problems I have with myself is (now don't get on my case about self confidence being a turn on and what makes a woman more attractive, blah blah...everybody says that but who is really that self confident?) I feel a great need to be liked by anyone and everyone that I come into contact with. If a person does not like me... my world is crushed! How can people not like me, I am good enough... I am smart enough... and gosh darnit, well you get the picture.
The Man always tells me that I shouldn't care what people think. He informs me that not everybody is going to like me... it's just people. I don't listen to him, I put my fingers in my ears and close my eyes (otherwise I would read his lips) and sing the "La, la, la...la, la, la... I can't hear youoooo..." song. There must be people out there who are loved by all, and I think I could be one of them! Why not? What's so wrong with wanting people to like you and agree with everything you say? I don't think there is anything wrong with that as long as it is my opinions they are agreeing with...
The Man thinks life would be easier without friends. He says that friends take time and effort and he doesn't have time. He says I shouldn't care what people think of me, he doesn't. He honestly doesn't let peoples opinions of him affect him. I don't know how to do that! I don't want to do that! Just because it's easier doesn't mean it's better! Isn't that part of the fun of life? Falling down along the way and having people there to help you back up. If you didn't have friends who would you laugh until you almost wet yourself with? Calm down, I said "almost". Who would be there to tell you that you are being ridiculous (other than your mother of course) when you get angry about something that someone has done or said?
If you would so choose to post a negative comment about something I write, that is fine, just realize that it will hit me hard, it will make me want to quit writing because I can't imagine that someone doesn't like me! I won't quit, I shall persevere, I'm not going to let it get me down even though I may want to crawl back into bed, under the covers and feel sorry for myself... but then I will eventually pull myself back out and maybe even sing a song like, "Ain't nothing gonna break my stride..." or "We are the champions my friend...". On a side note, how are those for earworms? ;)
Maybe The Man is right (yes, I said it) and it would be easier, maybe it would make for a lot less heartache, tears and worry. Whatever the consequences, I choose not to take that path, I am going to take the hard way and experience it all along the way!
p.s. I am trying something new with the blog, everyday I have ridiculous thoughts pop into my head that I think would be great for a blog idea... suddenly something else pops into my head and out pops the idea, so I am going to write my idea on my hand, or whatever else I have handy and take a picture of it and post it on here so you can see the way my mind processes and gets to certain points. It may not always be pretty but it should be interesting, thanks for reading!
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Who or what in the world ever gave women the idea that we are supposed to surrender our entire identity to a man? Why would you ever give up everything that makes you a person in your own sense and let your significant other define you? Is it something that the religious sect has pounded into the heads of women, "the weaker sex", for so long that they are finally starting to believe it?? I know that the old fashioned lifestyle is to be the woman at home, take care of the children and the house, cook and clean and keep your family happy, healthy and functioning. Now I am not knocking that lifestyle for anyone who chooses it, I live that lifestyle. I am a stay at home mother, I do the laundry, I cook, clean, help with homework, make my husband get to bed when he has been up for 30 hours straight and try to keep the house quiet so he can get his much needed sleep. For the most part, it is very fulfilling for myself, it is the life we chose when we got married and decided we were going to have children that we did not want to put into child care. I am not complaining, I think I do my job reasonably well. I do not bring in a paycheck. I do not have a schedule I have to keep, and yes some days I could take a nap, read a book, or go out to lunch with a girlfriend if that is what I decide to do. But it does in no way make me less of a person than my husband. It does not make me lazy, my job is hard... it is emotionally taxing, I am on the clock at all times. The boys wake up in the night? I am there. The school calls and someone is sick? I am there. My husband comes home sick from work, dinner needs to get done, one of the kids classes needs snacks, the boys need clean pants for the next day, there is math homework and spelling words that need work... I am there. I have gotten off of the subject that I had originally started on, I will go back. Appreciating what at home moms do is a whole other blog in itself...
The reason I was writing this is because so many women have decided that they are lucky to have a man. Lucky to have someone who loves them or at least pretends. Why??? Why are we the lucky ones? Why isn't it men and women both who are the lucky ones to have found someone who loves them just as they are, accepting all our flaws. Men and women both have a whole long list of flaws it is not just one sex. Why don't men say, I appreciate everything you do for me. What has made women decide to give up their independence because that's what they think a man wants. They stay home and don't go anywhere because their man may possibly come home and see them for an hour. They ask permission to go out of the house, or buy something, or do something with their children. They feel guilty when they spend money that should rightfully be half theirs. They keep their hair a certain length or style, they dress a certain way, they keep their house clean because heaven forbid a man would think it wasn't done the right way. They lose themselves. They give up everything and become So-and-so's wife... and that is all they are. And then if their man decides he doesn't like them anymore, they are devastated, they lose all semblance of reality and go out of their way... giving 200% just to keep him happy. "Oh, you want me to drop all my plans because you decided to give me an hour of your time?" of course! Let me shave my legs and put on something pretty so you will actually love me! "You think I have gained weight?" Let me do a juice fast for a couple days so that you will like me again. "Can I go out with my friends shopping for the day?" No... ok well why don't I stay home with you and cook and clean for you, why don't you lay down and take a nap while I do your laundry.... the list goes on and on.
I am not a feminist by nature but I do believe that we women as a gender have given ourselves a bad rap. We are the only ones that allow ourselves to be treated as less than other people. Control over ourselves cannot be taken, we have to give it and that is what so many are doing every day. I am worthwhile. I have my own personality that is not defined in any way by my husband. My sense of humor may not always be appreciated by him or other people but that doesn't mean that I am going to change it just so he likes me and smiles at me. Our differences are what makes us such amazing, mysterious creatures...do not give that up to try to please men! And men, do not think for one minute that a woman is any less amazing and talented than you are. Don't ever put her under your thumb because it makes your life easier... you are taking the essence of the woman and losing the wonder of what we are. Women, take back your lives! Take back yourselves...let your actions define you, not who you are in a man's eyes!!!